Monday, 9 April 2012

Dieting part 2


Dieting for a while now, surely has had its ups and downs (all these holidays requring you to eat chocolate). I personally have tried Beyonce's juice diet, Kelly Rowland's 80-20 diet and the 'No men, no carbs, no alcohol' diet. With not so great success. In fact, the only diet that has ever worked, I made up myself. Or not 'made up', this sure did happen to me:

It's called 'Get drunk and lose eveything including yourself'

The GDALEIY-diet allows something that all other diets prohibit: Alcohol. Alcohol in itself is not the enemy. You go clubbing, you will burn all the calories consumed by drinkin plus you will throw up in the end of it. The baddie in this is the night food alcohol makes you crave. This is where the diet pops in! By 'getting drunk and losing everything includin yourself' (vodka is good in causing this, plus zero calories!) you will not have your wallet and be able to buy food! In fact, you will not get home cause you lost your keys! And your passport is gone! This means super massive expences which means you cannot afford eating for days and days to come!

I was on this diet once. It drives you to moral self thinkin and wondering if the night actually was worth it, but then you realize you've lost 3 kilos in a day and you're like HELL YEAH!!! I was in Finland at the time. Pros and cons about being on this diet in Finland:

+You can eat berries. Berries are everywhere
+You can steal a bike. Unlocked bikes are everywhere as this is a welfare country and no one wants anyone any harm.

-This is a welfare country. You lose your keys, means the entire house is in danger cause that one person who will find your keys will know exactly which house it belongs to and happens to be a massmurderer. You'll have to pay for your flat's lock to be replaced. Don't forget the front door and the doors leading to corridors.

Once everything is sorted, you'll still be in massive debt. That's why this diet works best when followed by the porridge-diet. Basically just eat porridge. This is only possible once and if you get home to your porridge. Good luck!

I'm currently on the porridge phase. Yep, this diet boom hit me again.
Note to self 1) Store stuff you cannot afford to lose in your vagina (for example a pack of the pill!!!!)
Note to self 2) Wear appropriate clothes. Remember you will not be able to get home for days and will wear this in day light.

btw blowjobs should be included in every diet (zero calories!)

Tulisa knows this.

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