Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Sunday, 29 July 2012

omg

I just weighed myself for the first time after new years. Minus fuckin 11 kilos.

This blog needs to go, cause it's defo no fail anymore. Or swap its name. Too bad Fitness first is a licensed trademark. Guess we have to settle for sandrahasanamazingbody.com

Be skinny x

Saturday, 28 July 2012

London 2012

And again, this blog is surrounded by silence. My reason this time being....Serious gym dedication. Finally! And when I say serious, I mean SERIOUS. I noticed it had become SERIOUS when in the shower I overhear girls bitching... about me! When girls bitch about you, means you're a threat. And also, my body attack teacher invited me to her birthday. I'm doing something right it seems! And Olympics being in town, there's not really a better time to get fit!

Me now. Team GB!

Starting point..........You can clearly see that gym and diet effects a person both mentally and physically

The Olympics has not inspired me to pick up a sport...rather to pick up a sports man. Tom Daley! I'll show you a pool you can dive into! With 12 000 athletes and 1 000 000 tourists in town, I feel like there's a pretty high chance that I'll find a boyriend! London 2012 is where the love is!

Be skinny x



Saturday, 21 July 2012

Get skinny (maybe next summer)

If i say the words, 'Flicks great return' to Sandra one more time i think i am going to shoot myself.
Thats right, i hate to admit it but ive quit the gym! Ive decided to take matters into my own hands and buy some weights and a rowing machine. However I had this attitude about the gym, this doesn't ensure im going to use them. 
So no worries, im still fat and very much single so im not going anywhere. 


In my quest of discovery over the last couple months i think i've finally got to grips with what it means to me be skinny. Not much. But as long as you have good hips and a arse to go with it your set. Obviously you cant be hanging out of your jeans but keep that thigh fat girl its sexy.
See Sandra cant sympo-thighs with the fatties, i can.




I was on the bus and my work trousers split at the seam. This was when i realised the power of hips and Robyns great words echo'd in my head,
"Right now you probably thinking how she get in them jeans, 
Well I'm gifted all natural and burstin' the seams"
Honestly its those two lines that get me through life.
I was actually a man empowered. 

So for now all i have to say, and my god i never thought id say this, but love your body girl. You only got one. And we have a treat for you on Sunday so save the salmiakki for another date. 

Whatever, i dont care if i cant see my cheekbones, im gonna make my own.


Does anybody have any tape?

Get Skinny xxx  (i will sort the format out tomorrow) luvv yewww

Saturday, 14 July 2012

to @AddaLang

We got a question from a reader on twitter, asking if the reason to the silence on this blog is the fact that we've become skinny. Ha. Ha ha ha. Allow me to laugh (apparently it burns calories) Ha ha ha haaaaaa.


Here's a photo of me finishing a 2 litre tub of icecream by myself. We ladies turn to icecream and blame it on heartache, but nah, that's a general lie. Women don't actually have a reason to eat icecream for breakfast, we just like to blame men for everything, trying to make us feel better for bein born the more useless gender. Like when we claim to be feminists when we're just too bloody lazy to shave!!

Then I went to Indian all you can eat buffet. Atleast I walked there, they also do free home delivery!! This I blamed on heartache again, caused by an Italian guy I slept with but who never called me back. How does Italy ad curry even go together? Woman's logic.....Women don't even get it themselves.

Ah, that awkward moment when the waitress had to refill the tubs of curry..

What about Flick? He cancelled his gym membership. (Your time to laugh)

The Olympics are coming. We are clearly not ready. Thou we are supportive and excited: The main sponsor is McDonalds!!

Get skinny (maybe nex summer) xxxxxxx

Monday, 2 July 2012

ADELE!!WHY!!

I went to see the doctor because of weird lower stomach pain:

Doctor: I think we should do a pregnancy test. Your symptoms make it sound like you might be pregnant.

Me: Syptoms?? Are you saying I look fat??

Phew, thank God it was negative. Couldn't really be bothered to start a maternity blog. I'm on a diet see and this is how we get to the title: ADELE!!NOOOOOOO!! Just when you were losing weight you go and get pregnant! You silly, slly girl!!!

They say alcohol etc. is bad for your body. But what REALLY destroys it is a kid.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Showerubicles

I've already mentioned how I was lost in the chaging rooms on my first day at gym (lost, naked and immgrant, you cannot get much more vulnerable!) mistaking cubicles for toilets when they infact, were showers, exactly what I was looking for!

Pros and cons of shower cubicles:

+Shaving. You shower in big space with 12 other women (gym showers in finland). You english consider this vulgar, but imagine them 12 doing the crab stand and shaving their labias. That's even too much for my people, which is why we have signs prohibitng public shaving. Thou I personally think you shouldnt hate those who shave, but them who don't.

Story related to this: I was shaving in the gym shower using some seriously faulty razor. One move and a 5cm chunk, not strip, CHUNK! was on the floor. Blood eeeverywhere. Thank GOD I start shaving down my legs and not down THERE,otherwise I'd be missing my clitoris. The look of fellow gym members when I leave the shower towel not wrapped around me, but around my right foot.

+Peeing

-Showering in a cubicle in Finland would wake suspicions. Does she have something to hide?Rumours of you being a tranny will reach your workplace befor you leave the gym, your parents will call you within an hour and it will be in tabloids next day.Yes, Finland really is that small.

-Showering in that cubicle you watch you thighs wobble and notice your boobs aren't identical and you hate your body. The only reason why Finns are so confident nude, is because we know everyone has celluite. Since birth have we showered naked with strangers and dnot once ha we seen amazing body. Pretty much everyone looks bad naked.

-Queing

-You cannot see the floor as the person using it before you wore a two pound weave.