Ke$ha owes me a new pair of jeans

This is just one of the reasons why its time to go on a diet. I'll explain. It was a sunday night, Sandra, Sandras friend (in London from Finland) and myself wanted a night out so we went to a club. Now in this club popular music videos play on screens whilst the music plays, creating a club with no DJ. I decided it was time I put on my favourite pair of jeans as I had Sandras friend to compete with. He has an amazing body so I had to pull out all the stops.
We got to the club and instantly his clothes were getting lifted up by strangers. It was then i realised my jeans had failed me.
It was time to get drunk. So whilst Sandra was off with a lesbian (Sandra isn't one but the ladies love her) and her friend was getting stripped by strangers I was dancing by myself. Bit of Gaga, bit of Robyn, it was all good!
Then... Ke$ha played... As i was gone with the moment I decided to get dowwwwwwwn to the music (im sure you know this feeling). I got low and my jeans said no. All I could feel from then on was a breeze, I reached down and could feel skin. My favorite pair of jeans had ripped right under my crotch. I was more upset than embarressed and I had to dance with my legs together from then on. Why is the universe call me fat via Ke$ha?
When I finally found Sandra she showed me her shorts, they had ripped as well, so in-sync. At least I wasn't alone in this. It was then we decided it was a good time to go home. F U Ke$ha. This is just one of the reasons why its time to go on a diet.

Get skinny.. xx