R.I.P

So i was thinking at work last week about something. Sandra had told me that she had seen a box that said 'pens' and thought it said 'penis'. I had seen the same box, and must admit, i had to double take. It thought it said penis too. Then it hit me. How ALONE must we be to be seeing the word penis where it clearly is not.

Well, as Sandra said, Its London Fashion Week and being the 'fashionista' (5inchanddown) that i am. I am helping backstage at some of the shows. Yes, thats right, even fatties get let in backstage, but backstage only. Now, tomorrow is gonna be hard, i am dressing for the Mens Shows. Me in a room, full of naked men (i know i always am when im in the gym changing room) BUT this is different, they are models! Luckily i will be wearing my Spanx tomorrow which will be too tight to allow any sort of 'crouch malfunction' ill walk in backstage single and come out with a brand new model boyfriend, i know it. Ha, but seriously, ill still be single as fuck this time tomorrow night.

Anyway, talking of crouch malfunctions I shared a taxi with model Alex Dunstan yesterday, he is a nice guy. But as i was getting into the taxi i slid across the taxi seat and my jeans ripped! WHAT! only this would happen to me!! My jeans rip infront of a famous model. fml. i deserve to be single?

Tip: make sure photos come out blurry so no one can see your real weight.

Get Skinny xx fashionweekisthebesttimetobefat