Tuesday, 19 June 2012


Mine and Sandras friendaversary went by recently, this being on the same night as Eurovision! Only the best tv show on tv.

But moving on.

Flicks rules to surviving Uni on a diet:

- To be honest its best to not go to uni at all if your fat. Its not a place for fatties. You'll get told before you go that its all about sex, parties and drugs. But dont listen to those rules because they dont apply to fat people. But if you still insist on going, here we go.

1) Choose the right course. Ideally, something that involves a lot of activity on a computer. Us fatties love a good sit down and everyone knows it. If you do something like Sport Science all you will get is judgement. Fashion isn't ideal either. They are another lot to pass judgement. But if you insist on doing it (like I did) you have to take on the roll of, clumsy, yet funny, fat guy. You may be the butt of everyones joke but at least they wont be throwing sandwiches at you.

2) Choose a Uni that doesn't have a inbuilt canteen, you have to move for your food. A sure sign that you are gonna gain weight (cos you ain't gonna be loosing it having sex) is buying lunch every day. All that Subway and Starbucks may come across as healthy but let me tell you, it will result in a spare tire to match your bingo wings.

3) Dont befriend fatties! I know its hard being fat and making friends but if you socialise with fatties you wont be able to break the stereotype that all you do is eat and sweat a lot. My friends are skinny. Proof it can be done. If you follow rule 1 and come across as the fat funny guy those skinny bitches will pick you up in a flash. They love a good makeover.

4) Love your body gurl! By this of course I mean pretend to. I would never sugest love the fact you're fat on this blog. But if you walk around as if there are donuts around your ankles you'll get treated like it. Buy yourself some nice clothes and make sure to include spanx on that shopping list! I dont care if your a boy, I do it so can you!

Proof bitchez, you can do it! 

Get Skinny xx

Monday, 11 June 2012

Everyone loves fried chicken

Silence on this blog. You could think it's because we're at the gym all the time. I'll leave you thinking that.

I fuckin hate being a woman. There's a lot wrong with you physically, but especially mentally. An example of how twisted a woman's mind is: No matter how fit she is, she's always on a diet. You tell her she's fit, no need to diet,she'll slap you on the face telling you just called he fat! I know this cause I do it all the time! I can't help it, I blame it on this curse called womanhood.

Reason why it's a curse, is cause being on a diet is fuckin hard. There's a reason why it consists of the word 'die' ok. You're just dying to get some fried chicken. I myself spend every awake second thinking about fried chicken. Which is sinfully alot for a white person. I go to London College of Fashion, which is shortened LCF. I always mix this with KFC. Once we decided to meet at the LCF library for a group project. I went all epileptic: WHAT (foam coming from my mouth) THERE'S A LIBRARY OF FRIED CHICKEN??

The only way of staying away from fried chicken is to be hypercritical about chicken shop names. There's one on my street called 'Delta Express Chicken'. In crtical times like these, it's important to eat locally produced meat, so stay away from everything that sounds like it cme from a martian alien chicken's vagina. Next to that there's one called 'Lion's chicken'. Now, what kind of sick cross breeded animal is that?? Then there's McDonald's with its 100% boneless chicken. I don't know what they stuff their 'chicken' burgers with, but boneless chickens.........Doesn't exist.

Why does black people love fried chicken? CAUSE EVERYONE LOVES FRIED CHICKEN.

Get skinny x