I’m at a cruise buffet for the second time within a week. So you can see this as a part 2 to previous post.
I consider myself as an expert buffet eater. These are my advice to beginners:
1. Arrive early. Cruise buffets only allow you to sit for 2 hours. At this time I advice not to make slash take any phone calls, you already eat slower than at a normal buffet because the food is actually hot. I tell you to even swith your phone completely off: this way you will think time flies quicker and you will be full before you discover a clock on the wall. And it reveals you still have another hour left!
(Also, being first is the closest real life event you can get to the feeling Belle had in Beauty and the Beast where chandelliers removed cloths from food plates and sang ‘Be my guest’)
2. Make sure you discover the place properly. Nothing is sadder than noticing yet another table of food treasures just when leaving.
3. Can’t make up your mind bout whether to take red wine or white? Luckily, the buffet gives you two wine glasses: take both! And you’ll save time by pressing both options at the same time! Juice glasses are available next to the juice machine. Fill one with orange juice to make sangria, and deliver another one to the beer tap.
4. Do not wear trousers. And ladies: DO NOT WEAR A BRA. Your full stomach will expand the ribs cage, which will make you feel extremely uncomfortable and you will not use your eating capability to the maximum. Bikini tops are no good too, they do also explode when chucking enough of those pizza slices...... been there done that
5. Wear low shoes. Nothing is more awkward than trying to reach a low tabled kids buffet (only place with fries!) with triple sole creepers.
6. The servers go around removing your empty plates, so you can take a new plate and without shame start another round. They will also ask you ‘Ready for another round?’ with a tone assuming you’d laugh back and shout out ‘NO’. Instead, answer back with an ‘ok sir’, in a tone that says ‘this is no challenge…’.
7. Eat, eat, eat. When you feel like exploding, eat a bit more. The cruise buffet is planned so that you’ll reach the ice cream table at the last (genius!). So, if you happen to throw up, it will be a rather joyful and refreshing experience as the icecream will still be cold travelling up your troath. And this way you’ll be ready to start the entire round again.
8. Get a cabin from underneath the vehicle deck. These cabins have fake windows (mine shows a caribbean beach) and you can spend the rest of the evening naked as no clothes are comfortable anymore.