I was on my bicycle thinking Jesus! I need a pillow! This seat feels so hard!
How come? I've been cyclin fo ages and the seat has bee fine... Can it be.....That my ass has become hard?
Oh yeah.It's quite hard! How did this happen? All the hard work at gym classes squeezing my ass trying to hold a fart must have paid off!
My ass is still big. But it's behind me, so I don't reeeeeeeally care.
And neither does Beyonce!