Sunday, 10 November 2013

I cracked the code

I visited London. Then I left and this is what happened.

Entire Picadilly line gets suspended. Without a plan b route, I blindly start to follow a flock of people with suitcases. Later I find myself almost entering an express train to Stansted. My plane leaves from Heathrow.

It’s five o’clock. I jump into a cab and say my plane leaves at six. Cab driver says I’m wasting my money, I say optimists live longer. He takes me to Paddington, where I get the Heathrow express. While men in suits read e-mails from their laptops, I empty my bag onto the seat next to mine and separate liquids into a tesco bag.

I’m at the airport 17.35. I try to check in to a check in that’s already closed. I run to a desk, saying I'VE ALREADY SEPARATED MY LIQUIDS. Lady in front of me gives a look to her colleague and says two words: Force boarding. Then turns to me: ‘Go up the stairs, turn right and run. Good luck’

I run, at the same time takin my jacket and shoes off, to the security check where a man already waits for me with boxes to throw my stuff in. The alarm sets of and I yell ‘MY NIPPLES ARE PIERCED’ and the lady replies ‘Go straight, turn right, run. Good luck’. I perform the deadliest run in my triple sole creepers and say good luck to everyone who passes me running. I get to a closed gate, where a man in walky talkie waves at me, saying ‘Sandra arrived’.

Sand-ra is the new She-ra.I wanna thank my personal trainer for my strong leg muscles, without them I wud not have made the critical run.

Ok, I do not have a personal trainer. That's why I'm not in my goal weight. Cause that's the well kept secret of great physique you know. Get a personal trainer and you will loose weight...because then you cannot afford to eat! I cracked the code! You're welcome.

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