Tuesday, 17 September 2013

A FooL's apology

I work as a waitress. Try being on a diet when you're surrounded by burgers!

I'm a crap waitress. That's cause my relation to food is a fat person's. I don't particularly enjoy food, I don't even taste it. I just eat. Men objectify women, I objectify food. I don't have feelings for food. I eat when I'm bored. I'm no better than the men who never call me back. I'm a Food Lover. Shortened FooL. A FooL's booty call is opening the fridge door.

This is why up-selling, a skill crusial to a waitress, is something I suck at. Example:

'Wanna add some mayo? Cause....it matches your shirt?' I cannot separate a taste, therefore not describe one. I THINK PEPSI AND COKE TASTE THE SAME GOD DAMMIT.

'Try our Azul Rita! It's......blue!' A FooL describes beverages with outer characteristics. Just like men describe women.

Once I told a customer that our salmon is served with spargus. 'I love spargus!' she said and ordered that dish. When she asked for the bill, I had a quick look at the unfinished plate. And quickly realized that the veg I thought was spargus...... is actually called broccoli. A FooL doesn't memorise names of food they eat. Just like men.

Sorry.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Rax






Golden Rax Pizza buffet, is the finest all-you-can-eat place in Finland. And why does it deserve the front word 'Golden'? Cause it doesn't only serve pizza! There's chicken wings that taste like they've been touched by a thousand strangers, whole eggs and soup! Also, cheapest Corona in town. Served wihout a lime, in true Rax feel.

I have beautiful Rax memories. I've celebrated birthdays here and even my graduation party. Every independence day I'm here, thanking war veterans cause without them we'd not have a country, and therefore no Rax! I once ate so much my bikini top bursted. Once there was a dove in the restaurant.

When I started working at McDonald's, my boss said I was a natural at making sundaes. Not really. I'd had my practice. At Rax. Yes, they also have a self service ice cream machine, in other words, unlimited amount of ice cream too! Today was the day of 'fuksiaiset' here in Finland. That's a ceremony held for first year university students. It's super fun and a once in a lifetime experience. I missed it. When asked a reason by one of my classmates,I looked her deeply in the eye andreplied with a monotone voice: 'My soul is too old for that'. When in fact my reason was Rax. They opened a new theme week: Kid's week ('my soul is too old.....'HHAHAHAHAH). They serve marhmallows on pizza and star shaped chicken nuggets! Yes, it might keep on for three weeks, but I had to be there for the opening day. Today I ate so much I think I broke my eating record. Never before have I been so full that tears rolled down my cheek without me noticing it.

After the visit I went to the book store to buy a diet book. That alone made me feel like I lost a stone.



Be skinny. Tomorrow x

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

pay day

What I should buy: A gym membership

What I did buy: A year card to Sea Life.

Cause fish in tanks are beautiful! Almost as beautiful as in subway tuna sandwich or in rectangular shape with orange crust.



Remember this scene from Pinocchio? It was my favorite. Used to make me so hungry thou.

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

excuses, excuses

I had some cakes today. That was not a spelling mistake. I actually mean CAKES.

I only eat cake on two occasions: When it's my birthday and when it's not my birthday. Today is an extra special not my birthday day. It's Beyonce's birthday.

Next picture is my birthday card to Beyonce. See my thigh? I think that's the closest a white girl can ever come to becoming Beyonce.



Now I'll have some cake. Don't you dare touch my platter.



Photo Astrid Lindroos. Tomorrow I'll go back to my squat filled life.

Monday, 2 September 2013

My boyfriend(s)

Hey stalker! Long time no stalking! How are you?

I'm fine, thank you. A lot of things have changed: I got shin splints from going to the gym TOO much, my cell phone got water damaged cause I had it in my sport bra while jogging and I finally have a long, blonde gym bitch ponytail. A lot has stayed the same: I still hear 'lunch' everytime the gym instructor says 'lunge'.

Let me introduce the only men who make me sweat:


I do quite a lot of kettlebell loving in my room. Once an old man waved at me. Maybe I should buy curtains.

Get some muscle x

I BELIEVE!!


Hi, my name's Flick, nice to meet you, again. 
Welcome to sandrahasanamazingbody.com/flickisgettingthere  

I have lost weight since I had the delight of posting on this blog. Ironically, both Sandra and I have lost more weight NOT posting on this damn blog that when we did. Which was one of the reasons we started it, 'If we have a blog about health and fitness we would HAVE to lose weight!' We thought it was a fool proof plan, obviously we were wrong. 

But never mind that, here we are now mentally stable enough to hold down a blog and a diet. So what's my excuse (apart from being mentally unstable when previously posting)? Well, I've finished university and am now considered a working adult, would you fucking believe it... And the reason the scales don't hate me anymore is because studying Fashion Design is an absolute bitch. I'm serious, the amount of times I've had to run around the streets of London dodging idiots and riding boris bikes to shops before they close to find the best leather. In hindsight it wasn't so bad considering I lost a few pounds and actually got my work done. 


One thing has changed this year, Sandra and I no longer live ten feet away from one and other. Im still in London and Sandra is back in the Land of Finn, causing mayhem and promoting her love for Beyonce i'm sure, that being said, I miss her. But I have more pals who keep me on the right side of insane. 

Anyway, that's enough of my excuses. 
I'll eat 5 Big Macs or some shit tomorrow and write about it. 

Get Skinny x