Tuesday, 3 January 2012

We've tried everything

You know the TV-shop voice that says 'Are you fat? Have you lost faith? Have you tried absolutely EVERYTHING?' Well, me and Alex have. And these are only a few of the examples:

- I lost my phone once. Looked for it everywhere, and was gonna leave it, if I wasn't texting with a black male. I realized, I must've left it at the pub. I went back there and found out that someone had sent 'Lick my vagina' messages. Not to the guy. But to my personal trainer. Guess I'm not going to gym anymore..

- A girl at my uni had lost a lot of weight. I used to stare at her, thinking how the hell did she manage it?? Cause I've tried everything! I walked to her like 'You left the carbs, yeah? Tried Zumba? Tell me! My mum died, she answered. Whoops.

- I was on my way home from uni and spontaneously went to an Indian all-you-can-eat-buffet(You know you're fat when you spontaneously go to an Indian all-you-can-eat-buffet. ALONE) I ate and ate and when I got home I saw people carryin a body to an ambulance. There had been a stabbing outside my front door. If it wasn't for that Indian buffet, I might be dead. That's when I knew not to ever, ever, EVER say NO to food.

Get skinny xx

No comments:

Post a Comment