burpe bruise

Ok so apparetly Jessica Alba lost her baby weight by doing burpees. Like she even gained weight but yeh back to the point:



I do not get muscles by doing them, I get bruises??? What is this??? Burpees are as effective for my body as burping is. Or not exactly, as burping means the food you eat ain't SHIT!!! (Yes I do mean you, cottage cheese fuck off I HATE YOOOOU!!!)

Get skinny or dieeee